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Routine Changes

I always feel like the beginning of the year is a natural time for me to make changes in my life.  Usually changes are happening all around me anyway and the fresh start feels so good.  Additionally, for the past few weeks I've been so tired and sick just with a cold that feeling healthy is like being given a new life!  Just to breathe without coughing and to be able to sing and communicate with my kids means so much to me. 

Now that Luke is 7 whole months old things are getting easier.  It seems to take me this long to feel back in control after having a baby.

Since we've been getting more into a routine, or since Luke is joining the routine game better, life is good.  It's such a relief to be able to put Luke into the crib and walk away.  The routines I've been working on are sleep, cleaning, management (discipline), and food. 

We put all the boys in the same room and it's glorious!  We set up the bunk bed, added the crib, and put the beds in the smallest bedroom so we can have the bigger space for the playroom-craft room-office.  Luke got kicked out of our bedroom and it feels great!  The pack-n-play is still in our room and Spencer is in there taking a nap at this very moment because he got out of his big boy bed and I'll need the crib for Luke.  At night he doesn't get out of bed, so it has something to do with Thomas not being there.

As far as cleaning goes, the only thing that has really changed is I'm trying to follow a new schedule to make life easier.  Today is only the first day but I'm loving it!  You can laugh.  I'm trying to just do laundry on Monday.  We will just have to see how the rest of the week goes and if we can wait until next Monday to clean more clothes.  This has definitely not worked in the past so I'll probably have to do at least one load later.  The laundry can be such a huge job that it's hard for me to feel done with it at any given time and that's what I'm trying to achieve.  The change is that I'm trying to have all the laundry done, folded and put away by myself, before dinner.  Normally I wouldn't expect myself to actually put it away and that leads to living out of baskets of clean clothes on the floor and I'll just stop there. 

For management, I'm just trying to be better following 1-2-3 Magic and all the good theories I learned in college that I forget when I go back to whining, yelling, and begging my kids to be good instead of treating them the way I want to and the way they want to be treated.  Firm boundaries and lots of love.

Food food FOOD.  I didn't think I was that into cooking, but lately the more people ask me if I cook and seem genuinely surprised that I make almost all of our meals and snacks, the more I realize that yes, cooking is a huge part of my life.  I must like it, right?  I think of it as completely normal, afterall it's what Mom did, but I see that especially from people that don't have kids, cooking is more of a hobby or a choice then a responsibility nowadays which is sad to me.  I do get a lot of joy out of feeding my family and trying new recipes.  It's taken me years to switch almost completely over to whole grains and limit the processed food snacks.  I still buy foods that aren't all natural and I don't feel guilty buying crackers and ice cream, but I buy less of things like fruit snacks, granola bars, cookies, etc.  Meal planning, grocery shopping, and cooking are a part time job for me (or is it full time?) and a huge part of how I make it work financially as a stay at home mom.  I save so much money each month by rarely going out to eat, breastfeeding Luke, and avoiding all those convenient packaged food products for kids (and adults). 

I consider it an honor to be able to do this kind of work for my family while John does the making money work for us.  This past week I read an article in Meridian Magazine entitled, "Wake up Call for Wives" and I loved it.  It made me feel so good about myself but then also helped me to see areas of my marriage I can improve.  You can read it here.  One of the interesting things I read was that many men work ten percent more hours then their fathers did, but most men today try to be more involved with their kids and helpful around the house as well.  What excellent motivation to work harder at home to ease John's burden and appreciate all the work he does.  Sometimes such motivation is necessary!  He is such a great husband and father and he truly deserves the best.  I really wish I had the energy to make him breakfast in the morning like Sister Monson has always done for President Monson.

Here's a quote the article used that I also appreciated:

Joseph F. Smith’s counsel to wives, after giving counsel to husbands, is as true today as it was then. “The wife, also should treat the husband with the greatest respect and courtesy. Her words to him should not be keen and cutting and sarcastic. She should not pass slurs or insinuations at him. She should not nag him. She should not try to arouse his anger or make things unpleasant about the home. The wife should be a joy to her husband, and she should live and conduct herself at home so the home will be the most joyous, the most blessed place on earth to her husband. This should be the condition of the husband, wife, the father and the mother, within the sacred precinct of that holy place, the home.” (Gospel Doctrine, 283–84)

In an inspiring story, a young missionary said that he felt the Holy Ghost at the temple and it was so peaceful it reminded him of his home.  Over the years I like to think of this missionary who felt greater peace at home than anywhere else as I try to make my home a haven and happy place for my family. 

It can be so discouraging when dinner, cleaning or sleeping aren't going well especially if they are combining against you as the mom and you want a happy home but feel the only way to get it is to evict the other occupants.  Over the next few posts I'll try to share some things that give me encouragement as I face the routine and sometimes incredibly boring and monotonous chore of motherhood, one of the greatest roles in my life next to being a wife and a daughter of God.

Comments

LeMira said…
I choose to feel motivation NOT GUILT over this post which makes me realize that there is MUCH for me to work on.
Jana Allen said…
Thank you for the link to the talk about the Wake up call to wives. It was really good! I compared it to a book I recently read about the needs of men and women and the differences in this talk and that book were night and day! I really feel motivated to try harder to be a better wife.

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